David Abramsky

Liberated Wailing Wall Alumnus

My name is David Abramsky. I am a musician and was software marketer living in Guelph, Ontario. It's a privilege for me to tell you how I came to believe in Jesus as my Jewish Messiah. I was born in a Jewish home to a loving family. I attended public school and went to Hebrew School two nights a week at my local synagogue in Toronto. I clearly remember that during this time I desired a relationship with God. Even though God wasn't mentioned much around me, I knew He was meant to be the focus of this ancient heritage I had been born into. My Jewish cultural experiences were strong and I continue to love and cherish all that my heritage means to me. At an early age, music became the one thing I could trust; the one thing I could always turn to that would make sense when the outside world didn't. My family nurtured this with piano and cello lessons and with impromptu musical jam sessions with my cousins at High Holiday get-togethers. I remember listening to Bach's "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring" and knowing I would one day discover where such joy and peace came from. But I was also a thinker; I wanted to understand everything. I excelled at math and sciences and got much of my self-esteem from good grades. And academic achievement brought me much needed attention and "strokes" from the world. This felt like the right direction. Eventually I ended up in Engineering at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. My scientific pursuits, though fascinating, never left me feeling deeply happy. Suddenly my grades were slipping at MIT and my self-esteem slipped with them. I didn't believe in anything and did not know where to turn. Ever the people pleaser, I ended up smiling on the outside but was frightened, angry, confused and abandoned on the inside. I tried a Masters degree in Toronto but, disillusioned, I left the program early. I buried my pain for years until I could hold it in no longer. I moved to Thunder Bay and, once there, I worked on healing for 10 years. After trying Buddhism, I ended up in the 12-step movement where I learned to trust others and, more importantly, came to believe that God exists. For me as an atheist, this was an important step. I learned that I simply could not go it alone. A verse that I now hold dear says, "Let your gentleness be evident to all." Growing up I had felt drawn to the many Christians I met during those years. Their unconditional love really touched me deeply and I knew I had to someday explore how these people got the peace they had. They really planted a seed in me that waited many years to grow. Looking back I can see God was working away, leading me, prodding me. On day in my grandmother's home I actually found a New Testament (left there by a previous live-in housekeeper). Science had taught me to explore and test theories. It occurred to me that I "followed the pack" and had judged this book severely. Yet I hadn't even read! I took the book home and began reading it eagerly. How exciting it was to realize I had so many wrong impressions of it. It was not anti-Semitic and it was VERY Jewish. In my prayers to God I thanked Him for leading me to this book. Yet I also expressed great fear of the path I was on. From an early age, listening to parents and Jewish peers, I had assumed Jesus was a wise, kind, moral Rabbi who fought the corruption of his time. This appealed to my intellect. Also this allowed me to keep him in a compartment that I was comfortable with. But eventually my heart yearned to know more about what He did for me personally. I had no idea Jews were "supposed" to be waiting for the Messiah, or that God had outlined a system of "atonement". My search deepened. I knew there were Jews who believed in Jesus and I continued reading the New Testament myself to satisfy my curiosity. It was my hope that I could embrace the love that Jesus spoke of while remaining Jewish. There was no denying Jesus was a Jew and a devout one at that. So I asked myself: what would Jesus, being a Jew, tell his fellow Jews to do? As I read I was astounded! He spoke to them as Jews and did not denounce his own Jewishness! The more I read the more I felt free to one day choose for myself. Meanwhile God gently prodded. I was spending more and more time at a church in Thunder Bay. I enjoyed being there with some close friends, listening to the music and praying. One day I even joined in Communion! (I remember my boss' daughter eyeing my behaviour from the choir, as if to say, "What is he doing? He's Jewish!") I had not admitted I was a sinner nor had I given my life to the Lord. Yet I knew getting closer to Jesus held so much promise and hope for me. God orchestrated my life so that I ended up writing music for several hymn texts for ministers in Thunder Bay. One was even published! I loved the peace and hope in their words. Again I felt safe drawing closer to this Jesus about whom I was reading. The pivotal day came unexpectedly. In Thunder Bay I had joined a wonderful folk/pop music band and we had decided to leave everything and move to southern Ontario where all the "action" was. As the moving day approached I found myself joking with people that, "I feel I'm being told to go to Guelph and await further instructions." The big move happened and it had the wonderful side effect of bringing me closer to my family in Toronto. I now felt I had it all: friends, music performances, two CD's, family close by--it was all coming together. Yet I awoke one Sunday morning feeling such a deep, painful spiritual longing and most unexpectedly, an inner pull I could not explain. I sat upright in bed and knew that today, right now, I was being called to find a spiritual home once and for all. As I dressed I was worrying to myself, "It's Sunday; only churches are open today!" I persevered and decided to drive to the first church that came into view. When I saw it, I found myself getting out of the car, stomach full of butterflies, and walking into the building. I sat down at the back and allowed a new openness to build in me. They were singing, they were worshipping and they were asking each other for prayers. They were praising God in their lives. Even the songs that day were steeped in Old Testament characters like Ezekiel and Elijah! I just couldn't believe my eyes and ears. Deep within me I knew I was on the right path; I did want what they had: a personal relationship with Jesus. I cried throughout that first service. The pastor signed me up for the next Alpha Course. A congregant introduced me to Jews for Jesus where I met Andrew Barron. With Andrew I admitted out loud that I was a sinner, that I believed Jesus was sent by God as payment for my sins, and that I wanted Jesus as my Lord in my life. (And how wonderful to learn that Jesus' Hebrew is "Y'shua"). At church I found such encouragement of the gifts God has given me and I am learning, with much healing, about who I was created to be. Yet, for several years I felt a strong cultural loneliness. I felt I was "bad" because (I thought) I was "abandoning" my heritage; even though the Gospel message was clearly for the Jews, I felt I would always be a misfit. I met off and on with my friends at Jews for Jesus and I bought a tape of the group, "The Liberated Wailing Wall". They are the Jews for Jesus music ministry team who travel around the continent singing original songs that speak of Jesus and his kingdom. It was delightful to listen to their music that has that distinctly Jewish sound that I'm familiar with. Their music and message brought tears to my eyes too. Their stories, and the stories of many Jewish believers (in book, video and in person) moved me as well. I knew I was not alone with the difficulties many Jews face in sharing their faith in Jesus with other Jews. The bottom line is that I have NOT abandoned my faith. Jesus IS the Jewish Messiah. I am more Jewish because I believe in Jesus! David served on Liberated Wailing Wall and now works at our International Headquarters in San Francisco.